Mourning Becomes Her

"In the long run, we are all dead"

                                           John Maynard Keynes

     I was perusing the obits in the Globe the other day, and there he was! Yes, one of my old swains had shuffled off his mortal coil, gone to drink Martinis in the big cocktail lounge in the sky. Or more likely the one down below. Cause of death:TOO MUCH FUN. Which brings me to a social event more festive than 4 Weddings put together- the Fabulous Funeral. No one expected Joyboy to live past 40, so he was almost 2 decades past his due date. Not so terribly sad, but a good excuse to celebrate a life that was so full, it finally burst. This Queen Street Lothario had "known" many woman. (Yes, I admit to my 15 minutes.)  A huge population of chic femme fatales in full mourning are sure to attend the not so somber memorial. The competition will be steep. Afterall, women don't really dress for men. They dress to make other women jealous. So what gorgeous Goth getup does Rosie choose? Well, black, naturally — it's so slimming! Luckily there is no dirth of LBD's at Wild Rose right now. And most of them are on sale! Something scintillating and sensuous to pay tribute to the defunct Cassanova. Black silk J. Crew chemise( $45), Italian black lace seamed stockings ($17) with black patent Guess stillettos ($40) and my vintage jet earrings with matching necklace. Perfect merry widow's weeds.

                 I'm going to take my cue from the world's number one fashionista: Daphne Guiness. She stole everyone's thunder at the Alexander McQueen funeral two years ago. Famous for always dressing way over the top, her face was shrouded under a dark cloud of netting and feathers to conceal her tear stained cheeks, since it would be very uncool for the paparazzi to snap photos of the ultra skinny Stout heiresss with her mascara running. Alas, I have no inherited wealth except my grandmother's Schiaparelli cocktail hat with netting in front to hide, not my tears, but the unfortunate lack of plastic surgery. (Some of my old rivals will no doubt look younger than they did 20 years ago.) Topped with my vintage Yves Saint Laurent black cape and I'm ready to mourn in style. Life is short, live it up!